New Day

I haven't spoken publicly about the details of my divorce. And I plan to keep it that way. Not because I'm full of grace or because I got this divorce thing down. Divorce is stressful, soul crushing, lonely, maddening, and scary. There are times I'd love to shout it from the rooftops, and play out the lyrics to some country song of female power and revenge (I'm looking at you Carrie Underwood), throw a match on that crap and Thelma and Louise -- it all they way to Mexico. But I choose my kids. I love them, oh how, I love them. And they love their dad. It's taken me two years to accept that my problems aren't going to disappear. No matter how hard I tried to go to bed and pull the covers over my head, a new day continues to come anyway. So, I am left with no other choice but to accept the cards I've been dealt and step into uncharted territory.  I'm learning to embrace the new. I'm finding opportunities to reinvent myself in ways I never imagined. Desperation has a way of showing you what you are made of. Shaking off the chains of the bitter past and trying so hard to grab life my the horns... I struggle the weeks that the kids are with their dad.... So, in order to help me heal, I need to write again and this is where I feel I should... It feels freeing...  Jamie